in primary school, what with the endless bullying and running home in tears every other day, it never occurred to me before that perhaps the kids were jealous of me. it never occurred to me that there was anything they had to be jealous about. but on hindsight, maybe there were things. just like how when i became senior, and saw ellie being bullied, i'm ashamed to say i never stopped it. i liked her. but it was just easier to go with the crowd. i guess she was so sweet and precocious and she was really pretty too. horrible melissa ng peiwen, i dont think i'll ever forget her name, well she was the most vindictive bitch i ever knew. and we were only kids. i cant imagine how much trauma she must have inflicted on how many kids. but i never associated ellie's bullying with mine. maybe if i had, i wouldnt have let the inferiority complex develop to such an extent. if i had only seen, if i only knew what i know now. and i know i ought to be big and maganimous and nice but i can't. you cant imagine the amount of agony when noone in the entire schoolbus wants to talk to you. all because some stupid jealous brat told them not to. and what she was jealous of? well i think i can guess. i just met this girl two years older than me who was my senior in primary school today. and i guess she brought back some memories. how before they left, primary school wasn't so hard to bear. and it was only after they left that it became really bad. it appears that i was doted upon and they all liked me. that must have ruffled some feathers. i cant believe it. it seems so childish to look at it from this perspective now. but jealousy from the attention i was getting made her do all that rubbish? wth. i wish i could have stoned her to death then. i really hate you. dont ever let me see you again. you're probably the one person i can safely say i will hate for the rest of my life. i wish you bad luck all your life.