running on empty. i'm tired. of this.

tell me. is it disintegrating? into nothing-ness, dust, whatever u wanna call it. is it? has the magic gone?

sometimes you get wound up wound up wound up, and then you get so tight you almost want to break with all the tension, and then suddenly something does break, and its then that you see the funny side of things? and you laugh, and its funny cuz everyone else is pissed and you're just laughing at how ridiculous it is, and they think you're mad? but it IS funny if you just step back. lol.

do you know that once some things have been said you cant turn back anymore. that nothing will ever be the same anymore.

on infidelity.

i have heard of men, or mistresses of men, be it on programmes or third hand accounts, who claim it's not their fault they have affairs since their wives, once they become wives, don't make an effort any more to make themselves attractive. HA. how convenient an excuse.

who is it who tells the women in beginning stages of their courtship that they would be loved forever, no matter what they become? who is it who tell the women they want to feed them fat, that they are too skinny? who is it who lulls the women into a false sense of security where they truly believe themselves to finally be safe, where they finally do feel that they can relax. who is it who tells the women they would look pretty to them no matter what? who is it who makes the women so complacent they let go of themselves in the first place? who is it who builds up the womens' expectations of them in a bid to impress those same women and lure them into their honeyed traps like a pitcher plant, and who is it who then devours them at will when they are truly and hopelessly entrapped and unable to escape, bound by their children, their shared history, their fear of not having anyone want them anymore, their misguided sense of loyalty? who is it who makes them fat, and then abandons them for losing their looks? who is it who panders to their every whim in the beginning, spoiling them, pampering them, causing them to become whiny women, and then later saying you are too whiny, please shut up? who is it who buys them bountiful gifts, but who is it who then claims the women spend too much?

besides which, men do let themselves go too. how many men can claim themselves to be as trim, as good looking, as youthful as they were at 17. men and women simply have different values and i do so hate people who say it's womens' fault for letting themselves go and forcing men into infidelity. its seriously dumb and warped and what have you, and it's just a coward's way out of justifying a supremely dumb act.

infidelity is infidelity is infidelity. no two ways about it. so shut up defending yourselves.